A number of years ago I had decided to make a cherry pie for dessert.
I had the oven pre-heated, the rest of the meal was in the works, the crusts rolled out and ready to be used.
As you may know, it requires TWO cans of cherry pie filling to make a cherry pie. I opened one can and poured it into the waiting pie crust. I took the plastic lid off of the other can so I could pop it open for use only to discover it somehow had an imperfection in its closing and the filling had started leaking out by the pop top ring and there was green mold growing on it.
Dang.
I was far enough along in the process to not have time to stop everything, go to the store, buy another can and get back home in time for this pie to be ready for eating that evening. There were no other pie fillings in the house. Doggone it...
Oh, wait! I did have something else I could use to fill it out and make a full pie.
So I opened up the jar and put some in the cherry pie filling, lovingly placed the top crust on and baked it - hoping for the best.
I did not mention to anyone what I had done and I really should tell you that I am laughing out loud thinking of this misadventure right now, making it a little tricky to type!
So the pie bakes up in its own lovely pie-ness (new word) and cools for consumption.
We eat our meal which I can not begin to tell you what we had to eat for the meal. This cherry pie story completely overwhelms the rest of the meal.
I bring the pie out and cut and serve it. The hubby (Ruben) and both sons, Dante and Troy are looking forward to dessert with great appetite. We just don't have dessert every night and this is a treat.
Troy plows in to his pie (he's maybe 15 or 16 here), chews thoughtfully and asks me "What kind of pie is this?"
"It's cherry pie." I respond with a straight face and in a serious tone.
He takes another bite, chews it and is obviously trying to figure out what IS that other flavor in there? "Cherry and what else?" he finally asks.
Okay I have to admit that at this point keeping a straight face is pretty much out of the question as he has a look on his face that screams a belief he is somehow being duped.
I start laughing as I say "Mincemeat." My explanation as to my resorting to mincemeat is so ignored. I like mincemeat, personally. My sons - oh not so much.
Roll forward these several years. Cherry - mincemeat pie is NOT forgotten. I receive many reminders from my sons over the years and we actually all laugh about it. So on Friday (2/1/2013) I get on SKYPE with Troy and he starts relating a story to me.
His opening commentary is "Well, I have a story to top the cherry-mincemeat pie, mom. That was really mean by the way."
It was NOT mean - you just read my explanation!!
Troy continued. "I made us lunch today. We had some gnocchi, I made a salad for the lady (as he frequently refers to my lovely daughter-in-law) and we were both in the mood for some dessert. So I go into the kitchen, cut this chocolate in half to share it equally, and I take a bite out of mine." He holds up the two pieces and you can clearly see there is a bite out of part of it.
"Then I think, hmm. This is not chocolate. Oh - it's soap!"
When we had gone on our vacation out West last year I had run across the cutest little white bear shaped soaps at Yellowstone and I bought two Buffalo shaped soaps for Dante and Troy as well. I had put them aside as little stocking-stuffers for them.
Troy CLAIMED that these several hours later his tongue was still numb from the bite of soap. Come on - have you ever in your life seen chocolate wrapped in ONLY cellophane with no label on it? Food always has some label on it.
I guess this will also go down with the charcoal cookies I bake all of the time. STOP!! I am actually a good cook. ONE SINGLE time I put cookies back in the oven for just one minute more and completely forgot about them. They did look like charcoal when I remembered. But that was one single time!!!
Family. Let's share those good times.
Remember to check for your food labels!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The Beauteous One
Well, I just have the most beautiful little granddaughter in the history of the world!
I've been gone for a while because I went to visit my younger son and his lovely wife and to meet our delightful granddaughter!
Annachiara - now there is a lovely name.
Bless her little sweet self, she is colicky. I know I was SUPER lucky in my babies. My older son, Dante, had colic for one day - the whole livelong day I held him, patted his little back to burp him and comfort him. He was breast fed and I don't remember what it was I had eaten that bothered him (well, it was 32 years ago!), but I did not eat it again! Troy, my new daddy son, never had it.
And now, this little, beautiful girl has colic something fierce! She is inconsolable and exhausts herself with her crying.
Sometimes babies just get colic and there is not necessarily a reason for it that can be determined. It does pass and I hope that will come soon for the sake of all three of them!
They live in Princeton, NJ. It was a two day drive to get there and was very much worth the drive to see the beautiful autumn leaves and to meet our new little princess!
They are under the threat of Hurricane Sandy right now and my prayers are for their safety.
Okay, I obviously started this post and didn't publish it BEFORE Sandy struck.
As of now I have heard from my son only via text. He is in the New Jersey National Guard and is doing National Guard "stuff" to assist those in need as of Monday past.
I am hoping all is well up there and the beauteous Elisa, Annachiara and my sweet son are all safe and well!
I've been gone for a while because I went to visit my younger son and his lovely wife and to meet our delightful granddaughter!
Annachiara - now there is a lovely name.
Bless her little sweet self, she is colicky. I know I was SUPER lucky in my babies. My older son, Dante, had colic for one day - the whole livelong day I held him, patted his little back to burp him and comfort him. He was breast fed and I don't remember what it was I had eaten that bothered him (well, it was 32 years ago!), but I did not eat it again! Troy, my new daddy son, never had it.
And now, this little, beautiful girl has colic something fierce! She is inconsolable and exhausts herself with her crying.
Sometimes babies just get colic and there is not necessarily a reason for it that can be determined. It does pass and I hope that will come soon for the sake of all three of them!
They live in Princeton, NJ. It was a two day drive to get there and was very much worth the drive to see the beautiful autumn leaves and to meet our new little princess!
They are under the threat of Hurricane Sandy right now and my prayers are for their safety.
Okay, I obviously started this post and didn't publish it BEFORE Sandy struck.
As of now I have heard from my son only via text. He is in the New Jersey National Guard and is doing National Guard "stuff" to assist those in need as of Monday past.
I am hoping all is well up there and the beauteous Elisa, Annachiara and my sweet son are all safe and well!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Everything Has a Cost
Everything has a cost. Everything.
Several years ago a friend of mine - Jean Fonvielle, whom I have not seen in years and for whom I hold kind thoughts - was working at Gayfer's. Somehow her conversation with someone working there got around to she believed you never get something for nothing. The individual in question did not want her to think that and gave her a gemstone which Jean subsequently had mounted in a ring. Thus she got something for nothing, no strings attached.
But she really didn't, did she? It didn't cost her any money for the gemstone. The person who gave it to her bore that cost. She had to have it mounted, for which she had to pay. There were no strings attached to the gift of the stone, but there WERE costs attached. She only paid some of the costs.
To breathe in, you have to breathe out. See what I'm saying?
I have been blessed with a spirit of joy.
I KNOW it is a blessing. It is a gift of which I was long unaware.
So many times we walk through life completely oblivious to any and everything around us. We bury ourselves in our own limited and momentary perspective and are blind to what is right there in front of us, right there within us, right there surrounding us, upholding us, blessing us.
We sink in to our own despair and think there is nothing else. We believe that we are alone, abandoned, helpless. We believe that there is nothing more, nothing else, nothing. Nothing.
Oh, it is not the truth.
Look - I have been that sad, broken, lonely, depressed person. I have felt sure I was on my own with no help, no support, no where to turn.
That is illusion.
That is a lie from the depths of hell.
Some of you may not believe in God. Some of you may not believe in a higher power. We can be tainted by misused religion. That is a poison. It, too, comes from the pit.
What I have called my "Black Hole Year" - which is actually longer than a year - was in many ways the most difficult of my life.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was scary, and I cannot adequately relate to you how much anxiety and stress wrapped themselves up in the experience so as to weave their insidious ways throughout my life.
I do believe that the cost of the spirit of joy was the depression, the sadness, the negatives.
The spirit of joy was there ALL THE TIME, but I did not know it. I could not see it. I could not feel it. I could not conceive of it.
This is true because I was allowing myself to feel and see and perceive only the darkness, the sorrow, the weight of the world and its worries.
But you see, the "black hole year", while it was difficult, came to me after I had awakened to the realization that joy was all around me, completely filling me, drowning me in its ebullience, surrounding me and uplifting me - ALWAYS.
I had chosen in my human weakness, my fearfulness and worry to see only the weakness, the fear, the anxiety when all along there was sunshine too.
How many times have you heard that it is all about attitude? Well - hello - it is ALL about attitude!
I very clearly see the unbearable sorrow that is in the world. I know it is there and that I will taste from that bitter cup again many times in my life. Nonetheless I also know that I channel joy and peace and beauty. I guard myself from that weight - I will not watch movies that cause me anxiety, nor read books nor allow people around me that cause me to come under the influence of that which is not good.
I am kind of a Pollyanna, I have discovered. Oh look at that pitcher half full, that silver lining in those gray clouds, those flowers just waiting to bloom forth, the song ready to burst out from the very earth itself!
I have further discovered that it is a wonderful thing to be that way.
I know that God is. I know that He holds me and has always done. I know that he designed and created me for His glory and purpose and to be a light in the darkness.
Everything has a cost. And many times that cost is completely worth it.
Several years ago a friend of mine - Jean Fonvielle, whom I have not seen in years and for whom I hold kind thoughts - was working at Gayfer's. Somehow her conversation with someone working there got around to she believed you never get something for nothing. The individual in question did not want her to think that and gave her a gemstone which Jean subsequently had mounted in a ring. Thus she got something for nothing, no strings attached.
But she really didn't, did she? It didn't cost her any money for the gemstone. The person who gave it to her bore that cost. She had to have it mounted, for which she had to pay. There were no strings attached to the gift of the stone, but there WERE costs attached. She only paid some of the costs.
To breathe in, you have to breathe out. See what I'm saying?
I have been blessed with a spirit of joy.
I KNOW it is a blessing. It is a gift of which I was long unaware.
So many times we walk through life completely oblivious to any and everything around us. We bury ourselves in our own limited and momentary perspective and are blind to what is right there in front of us, right there within us, right there surrounding us, upholding us, blessing us.
We sink in to our own despair and think there is nothing else. We believe that we are alone, abandoned, helpless. We believe that there is nothing more, nothing else, nothing. Nothing.
Oh, it is not the truth.
Look - I have been that sad, broken, lonely, depressed person. I have felt sure I was on my own with no help, no support, no where to turn.
That is illusion.
That is a lie from the depths of hell.
Some of you may not believe in God. Some of you may not believe in a higher power. We can be tainted by misused religion. That is a poison. It, too, comes from the pit.
What I have called my "Black Hole Year" - which is actually longer than a year - was in many ways the most difficult of my life.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was scary, and I cannot adequately relate to you how much anxiety and stress wrapped themselves up in the experience so as to weave their insidious ways throughout my life.
I do believe that the cost of the spirit of joy was the depression, the sadness, the negatives.
The spirit of joy was there ALL THE TIME, but I did not know it. I could not see it. I could not feel it. I could not conceive of it.
This is true because I was allowing myself to feel and see and perceive only the darkness, the sorrow, the weight of the world and its worries.
But you see, the "black hole year", while it was difficult, came to me after I had awakened to the realization that joy was all around me, completely filling me, drowning me in its ebullience, surrounding me and uplifting me - ALWAYS.
I had chosen in my human weakness, my fearfulness and worry to see only the weakness, the fear, the anxiety when all along there was sunshine too.
How many times have you heard that it is all about attitude? Well - hello - it is ALL about attitude!
I very clearly see the unbearable sorrow that is in the world. I know it is there and that I will taste from that bitter cup again many times in my life. Nonetheless I also know that I channel joy and peace and beauty. I guard myself from that weight - I will not watch movies that cause me anxiety, nor read books nor allow people around me that cause me to come under the influence of that which is not good.
I am kind of a Pollyanna, I have discovered. Oh look at that pitcher half full, that silver lining in those gray clouds, those flowers just waiting to bloom forth, the song ready to burst out from the very earth itself!
I have further discovered that it is a wonderful thing to be that way.
I know that God is. I know that He holds me and has always done. I know that he designed and created me for His glory and purpose and to be a light in the darkness.
Everything has a cost. And many times that cost is completely worth it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
been a while...
I ran across the following video and wanted to share it. I grabbed it and then I couldn't figure out how to post it with my comments so I posted and am NOW commenting.
"The Hurt & The Healer" - what a great title. I wanted to share because this is such a beautiful song and it very much encapsulates some of my experience over what I call my "black hole" year. Okay it's more than a year, but then wouldn't a black hole literally ignore time as well as matter in its' devouring of both?
So I ask you to listen, read the lyrics if you are more visual than auditory and understand, please, that I feel so very blessed and so amazingly, astoundingly WONDERFUL!
If I could shine my light of love out to you all in the manner it feels inside of me it might just blind you.
In a good way...
"The Hurt & The Healer" - what a great title. I wanted to share because this is such a beautiful song and it very much encapsulates some of my experience over what I call my "black hole" year. Okay it's more than a year, but then wouldn't a black hole literally ignore time as well as matter in its' devouring of both?
So I ask you to listen, read the lyrics if you are more visual than auditory and understand, please, that I feel so very blessed and so amazingly, astoundingly WONDERFUL!
If I could shine my light of love out to you all in the manner it feels inside of me it might just blind you.
In a good way...
Saturday, September 1, 2012
So call me Mimi
My "baby" is a daddy!
This precious little person has come into the world - a bit earlier than expected, yet she is a good sized little girl who holds the promise of tomorrow in her tiny little hands, the beauty of life itself beats in her wee heart. She is beautiful and precious.
Annachiara; light of grace. Her middle name is my mother's. Mind you, when I discussed the meaning of her name with "daddy", he had to argue with me that it meant "grace light" -- he loves to argue. Let me rephrase that --- he L-O-V-E-S to argue. So think what you like, son of mine; 'Light of grace' has a nicer poetry to it than 'grace light' does. Regardless, she has brought the light of grace with her into this world.
Many blessings to my son and sweet Elisa, my daughter (in-law) and the little one.
This precious little person has come into the world - a bit earlier than expected, yet she is a good sized little girl who holds the promise of tomorrow in her tiny little hands, the beauty of life itself beats in her wee heart. She is beautiful and precious.
Annachiara; light of grace. Her middle name is my mother's. Mind you, when I discussed the meaning of her name with "daddy", he had to argue with me that it meant "grace light" -- he loves to argue. Let me rephrase that --- he L-O-V-E-S to argue. So think what you like, son of mine; 'Light of grace' has a nicer poetry to it than 'grace light' does. Regardless, she has brought the light of grace with her into this world.
Many blessings to my son and sweet Elisa, my daughter (in-law) and the little one.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Oops - A Diatribe.
"Save the Ta-Tas" -- you've seen this bumper sticker, I'm sure.
"Making Strides Against Breast Cancer" - walking to fund raise while wearing bedazzled, be-feathered, be-sparkled bras as your outerwear and "symbol" of your anti-breast cancer support and mindset.
'You can be registered to win a tailgate package (of the team of your choice!) by registering your team to walk!'
Battle of the Bling MSABC (That is Making Strides Against Breast Cancer) kickoff party! - Put on your pink bra!
Cupcakes for the Cure! Tangerine Ta-Tas! Java Jugs! Honeynut Hooters! Coconut Milkshakes! Mango Melons!
Let's have FUN "fighting" breast cancer!
Please. (Detect extreme sarcasm there.)
Is that all I am? A pair of boobies? Going by that standard I no longer exist because I don't have them anymore - at all!
I am not a body part. They were a part of my body.
Cancer - of any type, any stage, at any and at ALL times - is NOT fun.
Oh- maybe my attitude is off!
We all should have our bodies mutilated together, because regardless of what procedure you have done, you feel mutilated. Then we will all take deadly toxins into our bodies together - OOOH!!! Come on people, we'll have a blast together! We can do this! Hey - don't forget to bring your insurance card, if you have one! Otherwise bring money, lots of money. Let's have a commode hugging party! Decorate your commode with sequins, feathers, balloons and such! Come on down folks and we'll vomit ourselves silly! Won't that be FUN?!! Hey, everybody - bring your clippers (appropriately bedazzled, pink, feathered and if you could make them play a jolly tune that would be SO great!!) and we'll all shave our heads together because that is how every woman wants to look!! And don't forget to shave eyebrows, eyelashes, nostrils, etc. If it is hair - it must GO!! Let's increase our risk of getting more cancer by having radiation too!
Doesn't this sound like fun to you? No? Really?
Then there must be something wrong with you because this is just a lighthearted way to cure cancer!! It's just a fun way to support our friends, wives, sisters, neighbors or maybe somebody's next door neighbor's cousin's friend's sister. What is wrong with you? Have a booby shaped decorated cupcake that I bought to support breast cancer patients that a small portion of the cost will eventually go to a breast cancer site - or maybe it will.
Every year - EVERY year - 40,000 women in the United States alone die from breast cancer.
Hmm. That didn't make me laugh. That didn't amuse me. That did not make me have any fun at all.
Perhaps if I gave some money to an institution that will give money to Planned Parenthood that will help find a cure for Breast Cancer. Wait a minute. I don't think that paying for abortions will help fight cancer.
Killing the unborn neither prevents nor cures cancer. It simply and horribly kills the unborn.
Running around having FUN wearing bright pink fancied bras as outer wear doesn't do much for it either. At least that doesn't kill any one. If, as a breast cancer warrior-goddess, you find it amusing or whatever and you don't mind the whole ta-tas thing - well go for it. YOU certainly have earned that right and privilege.
I simply find the sexualization of breast cancer and thereby we survivors patently offensive.
I'm tired of the battle. I can't afford to be tired of the battle.
Look, MY battle is Stage 3A Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Estrogen Receptor Positive, Progesterone Receptor Positive, HER2/neu Receptor Positive, lymph node involved (9 out of 12 removed were involved), bilateral mastectomy, Taxotere - Carboplatin - Herceptin chemo (oh yeah, the Herceptin was a whole year), 35 rounds of radiation battle. Any cancer that I get for the rest of my life will be considered a breast cancer metastasis.
Breast cancer loves to go to the skin. Breast cancer loves to go to the bone. HER2/neu positive breast cancer loves to go to the brain. Oh good.
Is it possible I will have a recurrence anywhere? Yes, it is. Is it possible I may never again have any cancer? Yes, it is.
I have received many blessings during this battle and I would not wish them away. Nor would I wish this battle on anyone -- ANYONE!
My money for cancer cure will go to The Mary Kay Foundation. They fund ONLY against domestic violence and for research into the cure and prevention of cancer that primarily affects women. Look them up at www.marykayfoundation.org.
Just please - stop trying to "make it fun" or to sexualize this mess to me. The majority of people in America, those lucky many, don't "get" cancer - psychologically as well as they don't get the disease itself. Well God Bless them. Count yourselves as blessed if you have no personal experience there.
Let those of us who have been down this road be the ones who have advice for the trip.
"Making Strides Against Breast Cancer" - walking to fund raise while wearing bedazzled, be-feathered, be-sparkled bras as your outerwear and "symbol" of your anti-breast cancer support and mindset.
'You can be registered to win a tailgate package (of the team of your choice!) by registering your team to walk!'
Battle of the Bling MSABC (That is Making Strides Against Breast Cancer) kickoff party! - Put on your pink bra!
Cupcakes for the Cure! Tangerine Ta-Tas! Java Jugs! Honeynut Hooters! Coconut Milkshakes! Mango Melons!
Let's have FUN "fighting" breast cancer!
Please. (Detect extreme sarcasm there.)
Is that all I am? A pair of boobies? Going by that standard I no longer exist because I don't have them anymore - at all!
I am not a body part. They were a part of my body.
Cancer - of any type, any stage, at any and at ALL times - is NOT fun.
Oh- maybe my attitude is off!
We all should have our bodies mutilated together, because regardless of what procedure you have done, you feel mutilated. Then we will all take deadly toxins into our bodies together - OOOH!!! Come on people, we'll have a blast together! We can do this! Hey - don't forget to bring your insurance card, if you have one! Otherwise bring money, lots of money. Let's have a commode hugging party! Decorate your commode with sequins, feathers, balloons and such! Come on down folks and we'll vomit ourselves silly! Won't that be FUN?!! Hey, everybody - bring your clippers (appropriately bedazzled, pink, feathered and if you could make them play a jolly tune that would be SO great!!) and we'll all shave our heads together because that is how every woman wants to look!! And don't forget to shave eyebrows, eyelashes, nostrils, etc. If it is hair - it must GO!! Let's increase our risk of getting more cancer by having radiation too!
Doesn't this sound like fun to you? No? Really?
Then there must be something wrong with you because this is just a lighthearted way to cure cancer!! It's just a fun way to support our friends, wives, sisters, neighbors or maybe somebody's next door neighbor's cousin's friend's sister. What is wrong with you? Have a booby shaped decorated cupcake that I bought to support breast cancer patients that a small portion of the cost will eventually go to a breast cancer site - or maybe it will.
Every year - EVERY year - 40,000 women in the United States alone die from breast cancer.
Hmm. That didn't make me laugh. That didn't amuse me. That did not make me have any fun at all.
Perhaps if I gave some money to an institution that will give money to Planned Parenthood that will help find a cure for Breast Cancer. Wait a minute. I don't think that paying for abortions will help fight cancer.
Killing the unborn neither prevents nor cures cancer. It simply and horribly kills the unborn.
Running around having FUN wearing bright pink fancied bras as outer wear doesn't do much for it either. At least that doesn't kill any one. If, as a breast cancer warrior-goddess, you find it amusing or whatever and you don't mind the whole ta-tas thing - well go for it. YOU certainly have earned that right and privilege.
I simply find the sexualization of breast cancer and thereby we survivors patently offensive.
I'm tired of the battle. I can't afford to be tired of the battle.
Look, MY battle is Stage 3A Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Estrogen Receptor Positive, Progesterone Receptor Positive, HER2/neu Receptor Positive, lymph node involved (9 out of 12 removed were involved), bilateral mastectomy, Taxotere - Carboplatin - Herceptin chemo (oh yeah, the Herceptin was a whole year), 35 rounds of radiation battle. Any cancer that I get for the rest of my life will be considered a breast cancer metastasis.
Breast cancer loves to go to the skin. Breast cancer loves to go to the bone. HER2/neu positive breast cancer loves to go to the brain. Oh good.
Is it possible I will have a recurrence anywhere? Yes, it is. Is it possible I may never again have any cancer? Yes, it is.
I have received many blessings during this battle and I would not wish them away. Nor would I wish this battle on anyone -- ANYONE!
My money for cancer cure will go to The Mary Kay Foundation. They fund ONLY against domestic violence and for research into the cure and prevention of cancer that primarily affects women. Look them up at www.marykayfoundation.org.
Just please - stop trying to "make it fun" or to sexualize this mess to me. The majority of people in America, those lucky many, don't "get" cancer - psychologically as well as they don't get the disease itself. Well God Bless them. Count yourselves as blessed if you have no personal experience there.
Let those of us who have been down this road be the ones who have advice for the trip.
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