Tuesday after Round 5

Oh man.
This round was really rough.

First of all, let me allay the worries I inadvertently put on a dear friend's heart with a post I had that mentioned (I think it was my insomnia post) preparing for the end... I have a positive and WILL KICK THIS THING attitude, I promise you. So saying, I know I am nearer the end than the beginning and having lost my own dear parents, I know it is a wonderful gift to leave your loved ones that your things are in order. And I believe it will be a gift to myself to have my things in order as well. I intend to stick around for quite some time..

Back to roughness....

I did eject most violently Friday evening, what little I had input on Saturday and the almost nothing I took in on Sunday - and more than that. To the point I called the Doctor on Sunday. I am really not a big cry baby, as I think most who know me are aware. In fact, when I felt so so horrible on Sunday and was talking to my sister she had to lecture me about not waiting to ask for help until I had to be hospitalized. Oh, yeah, that is a family trait - "I'm fine, I'll be fine in just a minute, not to worry." Ha!!

So I did get hold of my doctor who advised me to be sure to NOT allow myself to dehydrate and if I didn't eat to not worry too much about that for then - just pour in Gator Ade or Power Ade and if better the next day try only mild things like chicken soup. Which did help.

Whoo- hoo - Chicken soup for Independence Day celebration. Ha ha ha ha. It IS kind of funny, you know it is. That is also why we cooked out LAST weekend!

So for me, how do I know it is really, really bad? When my own saliva makes me want to eject.

Oh, yeah. Gross, I know, but there it is.

Definitely feeling better today. Saturday was the pits, Sunday was the pits. In fact, on Sunday Ruben ran out to Wally world to get me gator ade and chicken soup after I spoke with the doctor. He has been so awesome, my rock and my support. I don't know how I would have done without him by my side.

Dr. Rassam advised me that this is the cumulative effect of chemo and that the next round may be even worse.

Oh joy.

I cannot look at that right now. I have 2 weeks of improvement and I am going to focus on and enjoy each and every moment of that time - and take the Xanax before Herceptin infusions!!

Today I got up had a cup of tea (which oh, how I long for a good cup of joe!) and a banana, got viciously attacked by my cat - thank goodness I had my robe on!; then after I let my stomach tell me it was okay I scrambled up a migas breakfast (corn tortilla cut up and cooked then add scrambled egg) and 1/2 of an avocado. I did eat the avocado half but couldn't finish the egg mixture. It was tasty but I just don't seem to be able to eat as much - well there is a blessing!! - and because I had felt so queasy for so long, I figure it will be far wiser to under eat than even eat enough!

I slept very ill last night, but then I will sleep well for the next couple of nights so that is okay too.
My sweet friend Fran came to visit yesterday and brought me some spaghetti sauce which now awaits me in the freezer. It was so nice to see her and have a chat.

I must thank everyone who has been so very kind! Cards and visits and meals and most especially prayers from around the world.

My wind chimes, which I am so enamored of, bring to mind the lesson of both wind chimes and prayers. I always carefully check a wind chime before purchase. No clunkety-clunk, no tinny ugliness for my wind chimes. They must be a sound of pure musicality and loveliness. They resonate on the air as if they were a fragrance left behind by fresh, lovely flowers. I have 2 on my front porch, and 3 on my back porch. Each time I pass them I chime them so as to hear them first ringing brightly then lingering on the air, sweet reminders of the sound they make reluctant to leave their presence unremembered. Those are what prayers are like to me, as well. And my sweet friends and family who pray for me, you lift my name up before God Almighty and keep it there, sweetly lingering in His presence, a loving reminder for His blessings to pour on me, to heal me, to calm and strengthen me, to lift me to His Blessed presence.

Please keep praying for me, I do value it and feel it. I am ever grateful for your kind prayers.

And I pray for you each in return, lifting you in song like melody to shimmer in the air before the eyes of the Almighty.

love to all