I must add, of course, that ANY day above ground is a good day....
God's blessings on all; Happy Easter! I know today is Good Friday so the Easter greeting is a wee premature. Nonetheless, I will not be posting again prior to Easter so I reiterate - Happy Easter.
When I last saw my surgeon, Dr. Z, I had asked him for a referral to a "plastic" surgeon. I received a call and an appointment from Dr. R AND I was considering checking out going to Moffitt again.
The appointment with Dr. R was postponed for a week and every day I was going to cancel it altogether! I was actually making myself sick with anxiety about a consultation. I would waffle and flip-flop about what I was wanting to do and changing my mind every six seconds about going. I finally figured I was just not ready to do anything and perhaps psychological counseling was all that I needed.
Okay - I probably need psychological counseling for any number of reasons anyway. Don't you???
This past Monday I woke up after a rather sleepless and anxiety filled night. My husband and I went for a walk, discussed this and I decided to just cancel the appointment that was scheduled for 4 that afternoon. When I got home I had to get the referral information from my calendar and then realized that the appointment was actually at 9:30, I had missed it and had to apologize for this. In just that instant I decided I DID want to confer and in that same moment the receptionist said - we do have a cancellation at 11:45 if you could come in then.
Oh.
So suddenly I want to talk to the man, I have an appointment available AND my husband - who was not going to be able to go with me now could go with me because of the time frame.
Still, I am fraught with anxiety about the whole situation.... We have to drive in in separate vehicles as Ruben is going to work after the appointment; yet something else that was simply rearranged by the hand of God as he normally goes in to work by 8 on Mondays...
I find that I really like the doctor, he has a pleasant and reassuring manner, not condescending at all. He answers questions I didn't really know I had as well as answering the questions I did have.
My insurance will cover 100% of this, I don't have to wait until October (a year after the end of my radiation treatments) since I will not be having to expand the tissue, the surgery will be much simpler than the mastectomy surgery, simpler than any "adding back" reconstruction. In fact I can have this procedure done about 4 to 6 weeks after my final Herceptin infusion.
In case you had no idea - I just want to be 'smoothed out'...
I had "the girls" for a long time! Was this whole deal a shock? Hello... here's the big clue;
CANCER!
It will freak you out and fry your brain cells with anxiety and fear.
So saying, it will spur you to seriously take action. At least it did in my case!!
Ruben and I discussed every imaginable situation and decided (read that talked and talked and talked about) each step we would take.
I have actually enjoyed being able to grab a cute camisole and a light shirt and I am done - ready to go and if I get too warm - great! I can take off the light shirt and I'm still covered and not having those girls all over the place.
Because let's face facts - those girls were EVERYWHERE!!!
So I am nearing the end of this journey at last. Okay, correction; I am nearing the end of this part of this journey. I will have my last Herceptin infusion April 19th. Four to six weeks later I will have a procedure performed - the ONE procedure I will have - to just smooth me out.
Recovery from that procedure and then - hold the phone!! I can actually get back in step for a whole life.
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