Graduation

Should I give a commencement address???

Yay me!! Today was my official LAST DAY OF RADIATION!!

My skin looks very good. I saw my lovely Dr. Newman and she commented that most people's skin reaction looks like mine after only 4 weeks. I had 6 weeks of the full area and then six treatments of the incision area only. So 7 weeks of treatment.

This is 1) years of good skin care (no soap, sun protection, moisturization); 2) gentle cleaning this radiation period with a truly mild soap (Neutrogena) and continued good skin care; 3) good genes and; 4) Excellent Luck!!

Okay, maybe add trying to be properly nourished - vitamins, hydration, veggies, etc.

Don't think, however, that means vegetarianism of any variety. Mmmm, I love me some good beef. We went out to a lovely steak dinner to celebrate the end of the chemo cocktails. We did that right BEFORE the final cocktail so I could actually taste and enjoy the meal;p

Now it is time to move on to the next stage of my treatment; further recovery and getting on with my life!

I am not quite ready to go to the "Image Recovery Specialist" - I think I will wait until my skin is actually healed. To be perfectly honest - I can not begin to tell you how much I am enjoying the not having to worry about a bra that I am currently experiencing.

Look - those girls were EVERYWHERE!! I know that loads of ladies claim they want larger busts, talk about enlargement surgeries, etc.

Are you crazy??? They are heavy! You will get furrows in your shoulders from wearing bras to hold up the big girls. The furrows will never, repeat, never go away. You have to worry all the time about things such as "doggone it, is that button popped open AGAIN??!!" and of course a personal favorite of mine - the old "hello, I am about a foot higher and they are not going to talk you!!" syndrome.

Seriously, while I am working on the one hand with the hole in the metaphysical universe, the underlying feeling of loss of femininity, I am conversely SOO enjoying the lightness, the freedom of not having to deal with it!

There are multiple layers to deal with to every single aspect of this journey. Some of them are positive, some of them are not. Regardless - on I go on my continuing journey to thriving post cancer, post bi-lateral mastectomy.

I wrote that on purpose. Sometimes it is hard to think about "bi-lateral mastectomy." Oh, I know full well what it means and what it is. Mostly I am okay with it. It means I have increased my odds of staying alive and healthy on the planet. It just also means I have to deal with a completely different body image than I ever expected to.

I don't mean that to sound like a complaint, and I hope it doesn't. It is not meant as one, rather it is an observation of my life now.

It is what it is and I don't mind that I have to deal with it. Why not me? I would certainly prefer to take it on my own shoulders than to have someone else take it, whether someone I love or even someone I don't love. I have it. The strength, the ability to walk through it. God has blessed me.

Cancer does have blessings it brings.