Mysterious Grace

When my mother was expecting me those many years ago - yes, to many that was back before the dawn of time - she was apparently told by every living person she encountered what to name me. This kind of ticked her off and raised the contrary in her (oh yes, that is where I got it!) to a fever pitch. She came across a name in some book she was reading and liked the sound of it, the look of it, the way it was completely unlike any name that she was being told to name me. Being a good Catholic (convert) she knew she also needed a Saint's name in the mix and so with these two things in mind, when I made my appearance I was gifted - truly, I was - with a beautiful name; Melanie Ann.

Melanie means 'black' or 'mysterious' - and surely you can see the poetic segue into mysterious there, and Ann means 'grace', therefore my name means 'Mysterious Grace'.

Mind you, God's hand on my life has always been present and protective and I can say with the utmost confidence that the meaning of my name -- mysterious grace -- is truly the definition of my life.

As a child I was very ill - I nearly died from medical conditions three times - but by God's mysterious grace I lived. Every bad thing in my life, every difficult thing in my life, caused by poor choices on my part, "circumstances", stupidity, or even serendipity - the very worst things I can look back on and see how protected from the very worst I have been.

In all things, in all ways, He has protected me, sheltered me, guided me, loved me. When I have battled, when I have been a warrior fully armored with fire and destruction raining down around my head, I have not stood alone. He has held the sword I thought I wielded, He has been the armor that shielded me. He has been the peace that surrounds me. Scratch that, He IS the peace that surrounds me. It has been made clear to me that I am His instrument of beauty and grace.

It is my intention, my prayer, my desire, my hope that through this path that is before me, a walk through cancer, a battle that I will win that I will stand, I will rest in Him and be a fitting instrument of His beauty and grace.