One month ago - Captivating

I want to tell you about my sweet friend Darlene. When she found out about my then impending surgery, she told me she was going to spend the night with me at the hospital. Darlene is a nurse, and after working all day she was going to come spend the night with me at the hospital, go home in the morning to shower and change and then go back to work. Ah, you see now - a valiant warrior in true feminine form.

When I awoke after surgery in my hospital room, my husband, my son, my daughter (okay, technically Ruben's daughter, but I am claiming her too) magically appeared there with me in the room. Three times. Joo-joo.. That is to say - oh man, I was drugged out of my mind! General anesthetic is a weird thing, a blessing and nonetheless a weird thing.

I was given a dinner tray at one point in my evening. It consisted of some strange sort of cream of wheat-ish looking stuff, iced tea (which I just don't drink. Those of you who know - I am re-knowned for making really good iced tea, I just don't drink it myself.), ice cream, pudding - just an assortment of easy to digest items that should be easy on a drugged out person...

I ate maybe three bites of the cream of wheatish looking stuff and knew immediately I didn't want anything else to eat AT ALL. I had been given some water and I was drinking that - oh I was thirsty. I believe that I promptly ejected all the items I had ingested. Helplessly, unable to so much as hold up my own head, and wondering while really feeling like crying - how is it possible to have this much in my stomach to throw up? It seems like I can't stop and I felt OH SO CRAPPY!!

My time line is blurred for this day, at least post surgery. Was this while my family was there? Was this during one of the times that they magically apparated? I don't know. The next day, Ruben asked me if I had seen the card that my sweet friend Joanne had dropped off. "Joanne was here?" I asked wonderingly. As he related details of her visit it came back to me in great and intricate detail, oh yes - she was there but this drug brain had lost it in the deep mist of the fog caused by the anesthetic; very weird.

But I digress - Darlene was there. All night she was there. When I stirred, she was instantly alerted and attentive to any and every detail of my situation. It was not the kind of pajama party that you would really want to have, we nonetheless had a mini slumber party in between pain killer delivery, passing out when trying to get up to attend to one's business, oh it was not a fun night and yet, and yet. We did have fun too. I will confess that at one point Darlene asked me if the street light outside my window was bothering me at all. I told her that no, I hadn't really even noticed it until then. Some time later she laughed at herself and told me it was the moon. "Oh, yeah," I said, "I guess the 7th floor is a little high for a street light to shine in from above." So - we are both blondes after all.

She was a blessing to me and her kind and gentle presence was a great comfort. She later told me that she had said to herself "Oh, Melanie has a sweet little soft voice. But then, I've watched football with you." I had to crack up at that. I get VERY LOUD while watching football..

So my sweet friend Darlene gave me this book. We had discussed it during that night as I had related to her my conviction that I was supposed to reach out and talk to women, particularly young women about the beauty that they possess and overcoming the lies that prevent them from realizing it. It is named Captivating; Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge. OMG!!! This is an amazing book! It completely confirms to me what I MUST do, what I MUST know and share. It completely confirms for me the sweet blessing that is Darlene, the sweet blessing that we are called - as women- to be for each other.

A gift from God, through the ugly fearful presence of cancer - a gift of great value.