Good Sleep, Good Week

I will confess I have Thursdayphobia.

Thursdays are my regular hang out at Tallahassee Cancer Institute Day. Cocktail days it's about 4 hours, herceptin only days - about an hour to an hour and a half..

As evidenced by my previous insomnia entry, anxiety starts to build in me and I just can't sleep.
My regular GP gave me a prescription in January for xanax - an anti-anxiety medication. Now, mind you, I really hate to take medication. ANY medication. I have learned that yes, go ahead and take Tylenol (or whatever) when you very first start to feel a headache, don't wait until the headache is entrenched or you will keep it for days. And amazingly enough (!) it works when you take meds soonest. Isn't that weird?

Since filling the prescription for the xanax, I have taken it like 2 or 3 times prior to this week.

So, upon discussion with a few loved ones, a light bulb moment once again occurs. Anti-anxiety medication is NOT for taking once you are in a full state of anxiety, nor is it taken in order to GET anxiety, no - it is to prevent anxiety. What a concept!

Tuesdays the anxiety starts, the Thursdayphobia. Thus, THIS week, I took a pill Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening. Oh MY GOODNESS!! What an amazing difference! What an amazing benefit!! I actually slept both nights. I mean out like a light, hard as a rock sleep.

Yesterday when I went in for herceptin infusion I didn't feel exhausted, I didn't feel overwhelmed, I didn't have fear trying to climb up and take me over. I can NOT say it was fun. It is really not fun. On the other hand, I had a certain calm acceptance of the inevitability of this whole process, I was not as woozy and GROSS feeling afterwards, and I took a shortish nap when I got home. I had asked my beloved to wake me up no later than 2 pm (I didn't want to sleep too long so as not to disrupt my sleep cycle) and I actually did wake up about 2:08 whereupon he told me it was close to 2:15. Okay - that's not bad.

Next week - full chemo. This means next weekend is out of the question for any meaningful activity and or eating.... So no July 4th celebration for me!! Therefore - we are having hamburgers and hot dogs and such this weekend! Blue cheese burgers, homemade cole slaw, etc., etc.. Fruit!! yum!! Obviously - I can eat right now and most things taste pretty close to how they should.... You have no idea how exciting that is for me!!!