Tuesday July 20, 2010
2nd Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division was what my younger son served with for two tours of duty in Operation Iraqi Freedom. He was a Bravo Bayonet. My nephew now serves in Afghanistan with almost exactly the same designators. Sadly, he is a Delta Demon. (Just kidding Jamie!)
Kidding aside, these young man are getting hammered and have suffered woundings and deaths. One of the young men who was recently killed was PFC Anthony Simmons. He was a young man who was from here in Tallahassee, and it was my honor to attend his funeral to represent my family, to offer what support I could to his mother, his brother - who also serves with 2/327, and his other family members.
8 July, 2011
It has been a year, today, since Anthony Simmons was killed.
I had initially started this post, as you see, last year on the day of his funeral. Something made me wait until now.
While this post is to honor and remember young Anthony, it is even more specifically to offer support and honor to his mother, Renee.
Renee is a member of a rather elite club to which NO ONE wants to belong, she is a Gold Star Mother.
I served as a Blue Star mother and I recall only too well, the harrowing pain and worry one carries for their child on deployment to war.
You think you can understand because you are a mother what it would be like. I thought that too. Until my son deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom, now known as OIF 1. You have absolutely no idea what it is like, I promise you, until you live it personally. And it is hellacious.
Thus I know that I cannot begin to imagine what this has been like for Renee, what this continues to be like for her. I do not mean to minimize the sorrow or pain of any other family member, please understand. I single out the mother because that is a singular relationship.
There is a special bond between mother and son (sons) that I had never known about as a daughter. I have absolute confidence my sons would walk through fire for me, as I would for them. I am sure this is the case for Renee and Anthony and Nicholas as well.
I cannot begin to fathom how the strength is found to carry on when you hear your son is lost to this world. As a mom, I can tell you that you see your son, the grown man, the soldier, and you see at the same time that sweet little 3 year old who tells you you are the" bestest mommy ever" and how much he loves you. And you know that that 3 year old who you picked up when he fell and kissed his worries away and laughed with and hugged and tickled and turned into a human airplane for his entertainment is right there in front of you in the grown man. And now the eternity of him is gone.
Forever.
And his birthday comes. And Thanksgiving. Christmas. Easter. Family events. And you have to cope and go on. Surely just a morning, just any ordinary morning is hard enough to bear and you have to endure them all and every special moment too.
I think, Renee, that you have found how to become a warrior goddess among women. I think it was required of you and you didn't want to do it - who in God's green earth would? - and you picked yourself up morning and took a step, as you had to. Some days, I would bet you had to pick yourself up many, many times.
You, too, are a hero because of this.
I was proud of my city, our city of Tallahassee on that day almost a year ago. I was proud of how Rolling Thunder stood honor guard at the church, both the evening before and the day of the funeral. I was proud for you how you stood and opened yourself to kindness - from friends and family and from strangers as well, for I came to offer respect and kindness on behalf of my family and was, myself, a stranger to you.
After the funeral, I was proud of so many citizens of our city who stopped their cars and got out to bow their heads, of homeowners who came out with flags as the cortege passed. I was proud of the fact that for this miles long funeral procession, the Interstate was closed off to other traffic. Both directions. To give honor to a young hero, the Interstate was closed off to non-procession traffic. The Rolling Thunder, the Firefighters, police, sheriff deputies, emergency workers who stood to honor this stricken family in the heat of July in Tallahassee, what pride in honor they showed. I was proud of our city when, as we got off the Interstate, the sidewalks and street sides were filled with people holding flags, offering their condolences and making their efforts to extend honor to our military in general as well as to this family, this soldier in particular on his last ride. As we turned up towards the cemetery, people in this neighborhood, too had their flags and many stood in front of their homes to offer what they could.
The cemetery was packed.
PACKED.
So many people wanted to offer kindness, courtesy, sympathy, honor to you, Anthony and to your family.
I was proud of our city that day.
I know, Renee, that you must also have been proud of Tallahassee doing honor to your son.
We honor you, Renee. You have walked a whole year now with this bitter sweetness. That your son Anthony is not here and yet he is. You have shown so many people how to keep walking, keep fighting, keep your head up and keep moving.
My heart keeps empathy for you. I'm proud of YOU, Renee. And I am willing to bet that laughing from somewhere we cannot hear, cannot see, is Anthony -- saying with great pride "That is MY mom."
God bless.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I am so mad I could just spit nails right now
I went to the Post Office - oh, I know, that is probably enough to get many people to want to spit nails, but wait - it gets worse! I went to mail a care package to my son who is on his 3rd deployment to the Middle East. He is in Kuwait this time (two previous in Iraq), which is less dangerous than Iraq or Afghanistan, but by dint of being in that tinder spot known as the middle east is nonetheless NOT a safe place to be.
I waited in line, and waited, and waited, with my package not taped closed yet, as I needed the Customs form required for sending a package to an APO address. You see, they don’t have the forms out and available - you have to ask for them at the desk - and these forms require you to inventory the contents you are sending. You might send them something dangerous - oh wait, THEY ALREADY HAVE DANGEROUS STUFF – such as grenades, automatic weapons, one is hopeful that they have SCADS of ammo; what they mean is you might send them something dangerous according to Islamic culture like prayer books, rosaries, bibles - really dangerous stuff.
Twenty five minutes later I get up to the front of the line and ask for CP72 - Customs Declaration and Dispatch Note.
Perhaps the worker was new. No, I assure you that is NOT the case - I have seen her here many times in the past. “What is that?” Ah, in her many years of working for the Post Office she has never seen a package go to one of our military members before now. I tell her what it is and she says “I don’t think we have any of those.”
“You don’t have any of them? Well, I’m sure our soldiers serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere will be glad to know they can’t get care packages because you don’t have any customs forms.”
I said it nicely, really I did, just in a nice voice that also made it clear I expected SOMETHING from her other than a dumb look
She then did bestir herself to look - at her station, the next guy’s station, the 3 unoccupied stations. She even went back to another room and came out where the cattle, I mean customers are forced to wait in varying degrees of patience until they get a chance to transact their business.
“No, I think we’re all out.”
“You have NO Customs forms for mailing packages to our G.I.s.” Seriously?
She is forced to reenter her station right by me (since they wouldn’t let her back into the back via the locked door through which came down into the cattle pen) and as she does she mumbles “oh it’s unbelievable.” as if by empathizing she will deflect any irritation at the ineptitude displayed both by her lazy attitude and the FACT that the POST OFFICE does not have the required form for sending a package that THEY REQUIRE you to have.
By this time, there are easily 20 people in line waiting, irritated that everything in the station has come to a complete halt as she meanders around searching for something that they do NOT have.
She wanders back down by the office, flips through some papers AGAIN, “no, I think we don’t have any.”
She has this look and sound of hope that this comment, repeated for the 4th or 5th time will magically make everything better.
While managing to keep my temper MOST admirably, I say “If you don’t have them, you don’t have them.” I’m pretty sure I don’t want her to pull them out of her butt – or try to!
So I gather my package and my purse and begin to leave. What? No parting shot? No expression of irritation or frustration on my part? No.
Except - I say directly to the other head of cattle in this roundup of USPS misery - and making direct eye contact with them while speaking:
“If you are here to mail a care package to your soldier - you can’t do that. They don’t have the required forms.”
On the way home, I go to my Pak-Mail store. They have the forms. They have actual friendly customer service. (WHAT!!?)
It also costs more to send my package. Flat rate medium size box at the Post Office – IF THEY HAVE THE FORM - costs under $10 to send. I pay $18 at Pak Mail. But they had the form.
Now I had the leeway of spending a little extra cash, and a little extra time to get that package out today. What about the people who do not have extra money in their budget and do not have the luxury of a little extra time to go somewhere else? Even if it were to another Postal Station. If you do not have the means to go 10 miles out of your way to mail a CARE PACKAGE, for heaven’s sake - what are you supposed to do, then?
What about a soldier’s wife who is watching her pennies and her time? What is she supposed to do?
There is NO excuse for this.
Our military members have their lives on the line every second of every minute of each hot, miserable day they spend in theater. And the USPS can’t keep the forms on hand to send care packages to them? The forms REQUIRED by the USPS?? Are you kidding me?
The Postmaster General received a huge bonus last year in addition to his salary. What the heck for? Is he working in 119 degree heat? Is he under constant threat of mortar attack like my nephew who lost a good friend just last week to mortar attack? Does he suffer from a lack of food because the drivers hired wouldn’t deliver their supplies as they feared the Taliban? Doesn’t look like that is the case from his photograph!
I waited in line, and waited, and waited, with my package not taped closed yet, as I needed the Customs form required for sending a package to an APO address. You see, they don’t have the forms out and available - you have to ask for them at the desk - and these forms require you to inventory the contents you are sending. You might send them something dangerous - oh wait, THEY ALREADY HAVE DANGEROUS STUFF – such as grenades, automatic weapons, one is hopeful that they have SCADS of ammo; what they mean is you might send them something dangerous according to Islamic culture like prayer books, rosaries, bibles - really dangerous stuff.
Twenty five minutes later I get up to the front of the line and ask for CP72 - Customs Declaration and Dispatch Note.
Perhaps the worker was new. No, I assure you that is NOT the case - I have seen her here many times in the past. “What is that?” Ah, in her many years of working for the Post Office she has never seen a package go to one of our military members before now. I tell her what it is and she says “I don’t think we have any of those.”
“You don’t have any of them? Well, I’m sure our soldiers serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere will be glad to know they can’t get care packages because you don’t have any customs forms.”
I said it nicely, really I did, just in a nice voice that also made it clear I expected SOMETHING from her other than a dumb look
She then did bestir herself to look - at her station, the next guy’s station, the 3 unoccupied stations. She even went back to another room and came out where the cattle, I mean customers are forced to wait in varying degrees of patience until they get a chance to transact their business.
“No, I think we’re all out.”
“You have NO Customs forms for mailing packages to our G.I.s.” Seriously?
She is forced to reenter her station right by me (since they wouldn’t let her back into the back via the locked door through which came down into the cattle pen) and as she does she mumbles “oh it’s unbelievable.” as if by empathizing she will deflect any irritation at the ineptitude displayed both by her lazy attitude and the FACT that the POST OFFICE does not have the required form for sending a package that THEY REQUIRE you to have.
By this time, there are easily 20 people in line waiting, irritated that everything in the station has come to a complete halt as she meanders around searching for something that they do NOT have.
She wanders back down by the office, flips through some papers AGAIN, “no, I think we don’t have any.”
She has this look and sound of hope that this comment, repeated for the 4th or 5th time will magically make everything better.
While managing to keep my temper MOST admirably, I say “If you don’t have them, you don’t have them.” I’m pretty sure I don’t want her to pull them out of her butt – or try to!
So I gather my package and my purse and begin to leave. What? No parting shot? No expression of irritation or frustration on my part? No.
Except - I say directly to the other head of cattle in this roundup of USPS misery - and making direct eye contact with them while speaking:
“If you are here to mail a care package to your soldier - you can’t do that. They don’t have the required forms.”
On the way home, I go to my Pak-Mail store. They have the forms. They have actual friendly customer service. (WHAT!!?)
It also costs more to send my package. Flat rate medium size box at the Post Office – IF THEY HAVE THE FORM - costs under $10 to send. I pay $18 at Pak Mail. But they had the form.
Now I had the leeway of spending a little extra cash, and a little extra time to get that package out today. What about the people who do not have extra money in their budget and do not have the luxury of a little extra time to go somewhere else? Even if it were to another Postal Station. If you do not have the means to go 10 miles out of your way to mail a CARE PACKAGE, for heaven’s sake - what are you supposed to do, then?
What about a soldier’s wife who is watching her pennies and her time? What is she supposed to do?
There is NO excuse for this.
Our military members have their lives on the line every second of every minute of each hot, miserable day they spend in theater. And the USPS can’t keep the forms on hand to send care packages to them? The forms REQUIRED by the USPS?? Are you kidding me?
The Postmaster General received a huge bonus last year in addition to his salary. What the heck for? Is he working in 119 degree heat? Is he under constant threat of mortar attack like my nephew who lost a good friend just last week to mortar attack? Does he suffer from a lack of food because the drivers hired wouldn’t deliver their supplies as they feared the Taliban? Doesn’t look like that is the case from his photograph!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)