Just a quick post of exultation!!!
Yesterday was my last infusion! No more deadly chemicals being pumped into my body!
Oh frabjous day, callou, callay... (Hmm, on reflection - is my spelling correct there? Oh who cares? Point is made..)
I have a cat scan scheduled for April 30th, a MUGA in June with a follow up appointment with my dear onco (that is said with sincerity) where I expect to be told that I am in absolutely FABULOUS health!!
Hmm, which cat shall I scan??
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
My Resurrection Story - Part 1
I have not posted for a while, at least in part because this has been roiling around inside of me wanting to get out.
2 Timothy 1:7 - " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind." (NKJV) Some translations say self-discipline instead of a sound mind.
At my Our Lady of Guadalupe Circle meeting last night this verse was mentioned during our petitions. We couldn't bring it properly to mind and yet, this is among my favorite scriptures. I kept a scripture journal at one point and I know this one is in it. I can't put my hands on that journal right now and I regret that. The scriptures within it are all of them helpful and uplifting to my spirit, my heart, my mindset. Encouragement is a good thing.
Several years ago I signed up for Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) at our Church, Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church. This program had been around for a number of years and I had thought of attending but simply never had. I was walking past the sign up table and mentioned to Ruben "I've been thinking about signing up for that." As I walked on past...
Clear as a bell I distinctly heard God say to me "Why not now?" I had no answer to that. No argument whatsoever. And so I turned around, went to the table and put my name down to attend.
The morning of the retreat I went out to my car to leave and my battery was dead. This was my '93 Honda Civic - as reliable and dependable a car as ever was. I went back in to the house and related that I couldn't go - my car was dead. Ruben, who was really neither for nor against my attending, immediately says "Oh, I can take you and I'll pick you up when it's over." I know, I know, that is what any husband should say and do, yet it was unexpected - as was the interference that was trying to keep me from attending.
I arrived at our Neumann Center (the Cadillac of CRHPs in Tallahassee is at our church because of this retreat center on our parish grounds where many functions are held) and we were asked to surrender our watches and electronics as we were on God's time now. I confess to you I had been filled with trepidation and worry. I even said to one of my fellow attendees - who I discovered was of exactly the same mind - that if this is some "this is what you do, this is how you believe, this is the narrow rule book for everything you think" sort of thing I am SOO out of there, even if I had to walk the 8 or so miles home!
This is entirely NOT what CRHP is, by the way. The weekend was so wonderful! I was absolutely in love with the women there within a few short hours - even not knowing them, there was just total love alive and flowing through and around and to and in each of us. Oh God was there.
There is a follow-up to the weekend called 'formation' that prepares you as an attendee to become the team who presents the next weekend retreat to the next group of attendees. Formation is about 6 months long - you see, the retreat is offered twice a year for women and twice a year for men. Obviously the men give to the men and the women to the women. I could not stand to NOT be at a Monday night formation meeting. We were designated Team 23 and we very quickly became a team in reality. I know I speak for all of my TEAM sisters in saying that receiving the weekend was awesome, amazing and wonderful; and that giving the weekend was even better!!
Ruben was really not interested in going to a men's CRHP - AT ALL!!!! He had been 'targeted' to attend and that just rubbed him the wrong way. When he picked me up after the retreat I told him simply "If you ever consider going to one of these, I can tell you that I highly recommend it." About six months later, the husband of one of my team 23 sisters invited Ruben to the weekend that his team was presenting. Ruben mentioned this to me and I told him "well, perhaps Jorge would like to share his story with you." and then I shut up. The men's retreat was going to be held on the weekend that we were having a welcome home celebration for my son Troy who had redeployed from OIF 1. He had been deployed to Iraq during the invasion. This was an important family event to be held at the home of my ex and my "new wife" and if God wanted Ruben at CRHP then I needed to stay out of it.
He attended the weekend and was sold himself. I became co-spiritual director for CRHP for teams 25, 26, 27, and 28. This was an extremely fulfilling 2 year stint and while I think I could have done it longer, I know I could NOT have done it longer and done it well. It is spiritually filling and yet emotionally draining and I do believe that God wants us each to give our best - I would not have been able to do so any longer than I did. When I was done, Ruben came to me and asked if I had any problems with him becoming more involved in the men's CRHP as co-spiritual director. No, that seems like a good idea. Mind you this was the man who had been adamantly opposed to even ever attending the retreat EVER - for many years.
I tell you this as background to my Resurrection story. I know - it's long. Oh, well. It is important to the rest of the story.
I believe that CRHP is now on team 42 forming up to present to team 43. That tells you it has been almost 10 years since we started this.
2 Timothy 1:7 - " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind." (NKJV) Some translations say self-discipline instead of a sound mind.
At my Our Lady of Guadalupe Circle meeting last night this verse was mentioned during our petitions. We couldn't bring it properly to mind and yet, this is among my favorite scriptures. I kept a scripture journal at one point and I know this one is in it. I can't put my hands on that journal right now and I regret that. The scriptures within it are all of them helpful and uplifting to my spirit, my heart, my mindset. Encouragement is a good thing.
Several years ago I signed up for Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) at our Church, Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church. This program had been around for a number of years and I had thought of attending but simply never had. I was walking past the sign up table and mentioned to Ruben "I've been thinking about signing up for that." As I walked on past...
Clear as a bell I distinctly heard God say to me "Why not now?" I had no answer to that. No argument whatsoever. And so I turned around, went to the table and put my name down to attend.
The morning of the retreat I went out to my car to leave and my battery was dead. This was my '93 Honda Civic - as reliable and dependable a car as ever was. I went back in to the house and related that I couldn't go - my car was dead. Ruben, who was really neither for nor against my attending, immediately says "Oh, I can take you and I'll pick you up when it's over." I know, I know, that is what any husband should say and do, yet it was unexpected - as was the interference that was trying to keep me from attending.
I arrived at our Neumann Center (the Cadillac of CRHPs in Tallahassee is at our church because of this retreat center on our parish grounds where many functions are held) and we were asked to surrender our watches and electronics as we were on God's time now. I confess to you I had been filled with trepidation and worry. I even said to one of my fellow attendees - who I discovered was of exactly the same mind - that if this is some "this is what you do, this is how you believe, this is the narrow rule book for everything you think" sort of thing I am SOO out of there, even if I had to walk the 8 or so miles home!
This is entirely NOT what CRHP is, by the way. The weekend was so wonderful! I was absolutely in love with the women there within a few short hours - even not knowing them, there was just total love alive and flowing through and around and to and in each of us. Oh God was there.
There is a follow-up to the weekend called 'formation' that prepares you as an attendee to become the team who presents the next weekend retreat to the next group of attendees. Formation is about 6 months long - you see, the retreat is offered twice a year for women and twice a year for men. Obviously the men give to the men and the women to the women. I could not stand to NOT be at a Monday night formation meeting. We were designated Team 23 and we very quickly became a team in reality. I know I speak for all of my TEAM sisters in saying that receiving the weekend was awesome, amazing and wonderful; and that giving the weekend was even better!!
Ruben was really not interested in going to a men's CRHP - AT ALL!!!! He had been 'targeted' to attend and that just rubbed him the wrong way. When he picked me up after the retreat I told him simply "If you ever consider going to one of these, I can tell you that I highly recommend it." About six months later, the husband of one of my team 23 sisters invited Ruben to the weekend that his team was presenting. Ruben mentioned this to me and I told him "well, perhaps Jorge would like to share his story with you." and then I shut up. The men's retreat was going to be held on the weekend that we were having a welcome home celebration for my son Troy who had redeployed from OIF 1. He had been deployed to Iraq during the invasion. This was an important family event to be held at the home of my ex and my "new wife" and if God wanted Ruben at CRHP then I needed to stay out of it.
He attended the weekend and was sold himself. I became co-spiritual director for CRHP for teams 25, 26, 27, and 28. This was an extremely fulfilling 2 year stint and while I think I could have done it longer, I know I could NOT have done it longer and done it well. It is spiritually filling and yet emotionally draining and I do believe that God wants us each to give our best - I would not have been able to do so any longer than I did. When I was done, Ruben came to me and asked if I had any problems with him becoming more involved in the men's CRHP as co-spiritual director. No, that seems like a good idea. Mind you this was the man who had been adamantly opposed to even ever attending the retreat EVER - for many years.
I tell you this as background to my Resurrection story. I know - it's long. Oh, well. It is important to the rest of the story.
I believe that CRHP is now on team 42 forming up to present to team 43. That tells you it has been almost 10 years since we started this.
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