Should I give a commencement address???
Yay me!! Today was my official LAST DAY OF RADIATION!!
My skin looks very good. I saw my lovely Dr. Newman and she commented that most people's skin reaction looks like mine after only 4 weeks. I had 6 weeks of the full area and then six treatments of the incision area only. So 7 weeks of treatment.
This is 1) years of good skin care (no soap, sun protection, moisturization); 2) gentle cleaning this radiation period with a truly mild soap (Neutrogena) and continued good skin care; 3) good genes and; 4) Excellent Luck!!
Okay, maybe add trying to be properly nourished - vitamins, hydration, veggies, etc.
Don't think, however, that means vegetarianism of any variety. Mmmm, I love me some good beef. We went out to a lovely steak dinner to celebrate the end of the chemo cocktails. We did that right BEFORE the final cocktail so I could actually taste and enjoy the meal;p
Now it is time to move on to the next stage of my treatment; further recovery and getting on with my life!
I am not quite ready to go to the "Image Recovery Specialist" - I think I will wait until my skin is actually healed. To be perfectly honest - I can not begin to tell you how much I am enjoying the not having to worry about a bra that I am currently experiencing.
Look - those girls were EVERYWHERE!! I know that loads of ladies claim they want larger busts, talk about enlargement surgeries, etc.
Are you crazy??? They are heavy! You will get furrows in your shoulders from wearing bras to hold up the big girls. The furrows will never, repeat, never go away. You have to worry all the time about things such as "doggone it, is that button popped open AGAIN??!!" and of course a personal favorite of mine - the old "hello, I am about a foot higher and they are not going to talk you!!" syndrome.
Seriously, while I am working on the one hand with the hole in the metaphysical universe, the underlying feeling of loss of femininity, I am conversely SOO enjoying the lightness, the freedom of not having to deal with it!
There are multiple layers to deal with to every single aspect of this journey. Some of them are positive, some of them are not. Regardless - on I go on my continuing journey to thriving post cancer, post bi-lateral mastectomy.
I wrote that on purpose. Sometimes it is hard to think about "bi-lateral mastectomy." Oh, I know full well what it means and what it is. Mostly I am okay with it. It means I have increased my odds of staying alive and healthy on the planet. It just also means I have to deal with a completely different body image than I ever expected to.
I don't mean that to sound like a complaint, and I hope it doesn't. It is not meant as one, rather it is an observation of my life now.
It is what it is and I don't mind that I have to deal with it. Why not me? I would certainly prefer to take it on my own shoulders than to have someone else take it, whether someone I love or even someone I don't love. I have it. The strength, the ability to walk through it. God has blessed me.
Cancer does have blessings it brings.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
I love Costco
I have finished with the main larger area of radiation. Today I had the first of 6 "boost" radiation exposures which target the incision line specifically.
So good news - the radiation is almost done with (YAY!), the area radiated is smaller, and MOST of it is now behind me.
The not so good news - I broke out in blisters yesterday. Not huge, gigantic blisters, not 100s of blisters, not excruciatingly painful blisters. Blisters, nonetheless.
Fortunately, sweet friend Nell had given me some Mepilex (?) adhesive bandage things. It is Mepilex, I just checked. I wanted to call it Mylar, which I KNOW it is not!
Anyway, it kind of cushions the blisters and should they burst will absorb the liquid and thereby prevent my skin from getting all torn up and painful.
My chest is red and I can feel the heat pouring off of it when I touch it although what it feels like mostly is simply a stinging for the most part. I have areas where it feels stiff inside, if that makes sense to anyone.
I guess the best way I can describe it is this: think of beef jerky. You start with meat that is hydrated and flexible, as was my chest. After time in the smoker or dehydrator, or in my case - after some time of radiation, the product is considerably dryer, still warm from the "oven" and is not so flexible any more. Thus, it feels as if when I raise my arms straight above my head, which I need to do in order to continue to be able to lift them above my head, it is as if the muscles are in need of stretching. Which, of course, is exactly the case. Not because I have not moved my muscles and they have atrophied, but because they have been sort of cooked and are thus stiff and a little tight.
Kind of a gross analogy, but rather accurate.
I generally am feeling quite well. I run out of energy by the end of the day but I have energy in the first place so that is a grand and glorious thing altogether!
My spirits are excellent - Thank you Lord!! I am getting ready to start taking an aromatase inhibitor once I am through with radiation. That would be a hormone regimen to combat a recurrence of my cancer.
Can't say as I am really excited about that but the whole staying alive and healthy thing definitely appeals to me!
When my Dr. told me about the drug he advised me it would cost probably $200 to $300 a month. I checked at my pharmacy of choice. The Doctor's sweet wife works there and she told me she had sent out price comparison requests on a variety of drugs. Yes, at some pharmacies in town two to three HUNDRED is the monthly rate. At my pharmacy of choice it will cost me twenty dollars and some odd cents.
I love Costco.
By the way, if you don't know, one does NOT have to be a Costco member to use their pharmacy. You just tell them at the front when they ask for your member card that you are going to the pharmacy.
So good news - the radiation is almost done with (YAY!), the area radiated is smaller, and MOST of it is now behind me.
The not so good news - I broke out in blisters yesterday. Not huge, gigantic blisters, not 100s of blisters, not excruciatingly painful blisters. Blisters, nonetheless.
Fortunately, sweet friend Nell had given me some Mepilex (?) adhesive bandage things. It is Mepilex, I just checked. I wanted to call it Mylar, which I KNOW it is not!
Anyway, it kind of cushions the blisters and should they burst will absorb the liquid and thereby prevent my skin from getting all torn up and painful.
My chest is red and I can feel the heat pouring off of it when I touch it although what it feels like mostly is simply a stinging for the most part. I have areas where it feels stiff inside, if that makes sense to anyone.
I guess the best way I can describe it is this: think of beef jerky. You start with meat that is hydrated and flexible, as was my chest. After time in the smoker or dehydrator, or in my case - after some time of radiation, the product is considerably dryer, still warm from the "oven" and is not so flexible any more. Thus, it feels as if when I raise my arms straight above my head, which I need to do in order to continue to be able to lift them above my head, it is as if the muscles are in need of stretching. Which, of course, is exactly the case. Not because I have not moved my muscles and they have atrophied, but because they have been sort of cooked and are thus stiff and a little tight.
Kind of a gross analogy, but rather accurate.
I generally am feeling quite well. I run out of energy by the end of the day but I have energy in the first place so that is a grand and glorious thing altogether!
My spirits are excellent - Thank you Lord!! I am getting ready to start taking an aromatase inhibitor once I am through with radiation. That would be a hormone regimen to combat a recurrence of my cancer.
Can't say as I am really excited about that but the whole staying alive and healthy thing definitely appeals to me!
When my Dr. told me about the drug he advised me it would cost probably $200 to $300 a month. I checked at my pharmacy of choice. The Doctor's sweet wife works there and she told me she had sent out price comparison requests on a variety of drugs. Yes, at some pharmacies in town two to three HUNDRED is the monthly rate. At my pharmacy of choice it will cost me twenty dollars and some odd cents.
I love Costco.
By the way, if you don't know, one does NOT have to be a Costco member to use their pharmacy. You just tell them at the front when they ask for your member card that you are going to the pharmacy.
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